the emalsculation of America

If you go to a baseball game and are fortunate enough to get seats close to the field, you had better bring your glove and watch out for flying bats, the wooden type, I am talking pro ball here. ESPN is on a roll again, but allow me to digress. First they piss me off with changing probably the most important baseball stat there is, RBI's. An "RBI" is a "Run Batted In". Two "RBI's" are two "Runs Batted In". "RBI" is a "thing". 500 RBI's is 500 "things". Why do they deem it necessary to say that "Runs" "Batted""in" is three things, it's not, it's one. You cannot break it down to three words, it's one phrase. ESPN calls it 36 "R""B""I", that would be correct english, IF, it were three different words. Ok, enough of that, most of you have heard my take on that already anyway. Now ESPN and SI are complaining about how dangerous it is to sit in a great seat at the ballgame. You might get hurt! Oh my, we can't have that! Are you kidding me? Hey, Ken takes a knife, that's what makes it a good game, right? Before you know it, the closest you will be able to sit in is in the upper deck, and a full set of catchers gear will be a requirement! Now, what would Harey Carey say about that? He couldnt direct the cameraman to any scantity clothed women, not that I approve of that sordid sort of thing, but then again, not that there's anything wrong with it either.
On Sunday in Taladega, NASCAR put on one of the greatest restrictor plate races I can remember. 57 lead changes between 25 drivers and a finish that was amazing! Carl Edwards, in the lead with the finish line in sight, moves up the track to block rookie Brad Kezelowski, Brad fakes high and dives down low, a veteren move, Carl goes back down to block but bad brad was already there. Carl spins and catches air at 200 mph or so, by the way, a Cessna takes off at 160 mph or is it "m's ph". Anyway, Carl's rocketship is on it's way back down to terra firma when the #39 car hits it and launches it up some 15-20 feet in the air, into the wire catch fence and back down to earth, breathtaking. Bad Brad wins the race, Carl, gets out of his completely destroyed car and jogs 85 yards to the finish line. The COT is amazing. It did what it was designed to do, both aerodynamically and safety wise. The catch fence caught the 3400 lb missle with only a little debris escaping and injuring one fan and scratching up 6 others. NASCAR rules of the yellow line caused the scenario, but the driver of the #99 car caused the wreck. He was penalized big time, right then and there! Get rid of the yellow line rule when the checkered flag is in sight, problem solved. Place a second net with the exact same dimensions behind the first one and hog ring it with Bostitch Aluminum Hog Rings, SR15-ALUM. They will blow with any impact, the second net, cabled at top and bottom will catch any debris the first one missed. Problem solved.
What the PC crowd wants to do is this: Slow the cars down, make it a penalty to block, cut the banking down, isn't that what we call, the Freeway? Guess what, nobody would care about the race. No fans, no race. But racing cars is just too dangerous, we cannot allow it. The drivers get fatigued after 500 miles, get sick from the carbon monoxide, etc etc.
Here is the real solution: Every 100 miles, park the cars. Allow everyone to get new tires on, get some fresh air, and....are you ready, you knew it was coming, they all get an orange slice and a capri-sun! There, I've said it, it's true, I'm so sick of it!
When I was a kid, you played baseball in America, that is IF you made the team. That's right, it was not an automatic. They called it "TRYOUTS", wow, how cruel. And guess what? Everyone on the team got a trophy, oh let me be clearer, everyone on the team that WON THE CHAMPIOSHIP got a trophy. Baseball teaches you to win and to lose. Every moment of this grand sport involves one person, on the spot, forced to perform. It builds character, which is wrong, I know but that was way back when the U.S.A. didn't give a rip what the other countries were up to. We were the one country that achieved! Now all we do is ring our hands.
SOCCER DID IT! Slowly at first, just a game. The #1 sport in the world, or the #1 world sport. We let it infiltrate our culture. Nobody on the spot, everyone gets a trophy, orange slices and juice for all, during the dang contest! Have you heard the term, Soccer Mom? Mom's protect their children, that's a good thing. Dad's push their children into uncomfortable life lessons.
Sometimes you have to get a bruise, get your feelings hurt, just to find out what you are made of. The game of Soccer is cool, I'm talking about how we let the culture of the rest of the world, through Soccer to overcome us. We're soft, and before you know it we'll all be wearing grey uniforms and marching in order! I just had to get it off my chest.